I know, I'm skinny.

I'm not anoerxic.

I've heard it since I was little.

I'm too skinny. I need to start eating more. I look gross.

And to that, I'd like to say

Shut up, you don't know me.

When I was younger, hearing about how skinny I was and how gross I look hurt me.

I struggled with body issues because of it. I used to eat and eat and eat, so much so until I'd stuff myself so full that I'd vomit.

 Until one day I realized, people weren't making fun of me for being skinny. Their was absolutely nothing wrong with me being skinny, people were making fun of me because they were jealous. I was hated, because I was skinnier than everyone else, and they hated it.

It's amazing looking back now, seventeen, and seeing that.

I love my body, and I don't care what anyone else has to say about it, because while you're calling me disgusting and secretly worrying about your own weight,

I'm loving my body, the same way I wish everyone else would their own.

I've come to learn that it doesn't matter what other people think about you're body,

it's about what you think about your body.

I wish people would see that instead of bashing other people's bodies, they need to worrry about their own. I pray for everyone who has body issues, because I think every body size is beautiful, and it's horrifying seeing the amount of girls who don't think they're beautiful.

So this is to say basically,

I don't care what you think about my body.

I think it's beautiful and it's exactly what God gave me,

so I do not give a fuck what you have to say about it.

Stop hate. Spread love.

 <3

My Motive

Many people have opinions about the way I'm reaching out to help others struggling with depression, self harm, etc.

A lot of people really appreciate hearing about how I'm changing my life by attempting a more positive attitude and doing my best to help others, while others see my ideals of how to connect with others whom are suffering and to share my journey through my suffering and healing as a

 plea for attention.

So basically, I'm writing this to say that I am not hurt by your viewpoint on publicising my journey through this rough patch in my life. If anything, you're making my will to keep up what I am doing stronger. Like I've read on many of your facebook statuses..

"If you have haters, you're doing something right."

So keep criticizing me, because I'm doing what I feel is God's will for me to do. So if you don't like or don't agree with my motives, that's fine. You can hate me,

but you cannot break me.

How to Save a Life

HOW TO SAVE A LIFE -THE FRAY

This song describes perfectly how I spent my life last night. Sleepless, I may be, but my heart is at rest, knowing I helped someone else who was struggling rest their head peacefully.

"And I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life"

Lastnight, I can honestly say, was one of the best nights of my life. I started online mentoring kids of about middle school age about a week ago, and I decided that I would offer my help as a 24/7 option. It's going to be a struggle, that I learned last night. I recieved call after call on video chat from kids who honestly needed someone. Someone they could trust. Someone to make the pain go away, just for a few moments so they could rest their heads and fall asleep, and to my surprise, that someone was me.

I could never explain the feeling that engulfed my body after each call ended. Knowing that I may have just saved someone's life.

As a teen struggling with depression and suicide myself, I knew my decision to help these kids was the thing I needed to do to make my own life worth living. From experience, I know the impact of someone willing to help and to care for you through all the hard times in a person's life. The urgency in the kid's voices I talked to last night, showed me how meaningful I was, and I'm pretty sure I found my purpose in life. 

So I guess this post is just for me to say,

we all know how to save a life.

But my quesiton is, how many of you

are willing to save a life?